Unxibelelwano olusebenzayo: Iincwadi eziTshintsha indlela oQhagamshela ngayo

Unxibelelwano olusebenzayo-olwaziwa ngakumbi "njengonxibelelwano oluqinisekileyo" -luhlobo lwentetha ethembekileyo nefanelekileyo ebandakanya ukuvakalisa iingcinga, izimvo, iimvakalelo kunye neemfuno ngokucacileyo nangentlonipho, ngaphandle kokuhlasela okanye ukujongela phantsi abanye. Olu hlobo lolwimi luphawulwa ngokubeka phambili amalungelo omntu ngeli lixa kuhlonitshwa amalungelo abanye.

Phakathi kweenzuzo zonxibelelwano oluqinisekisayo zezi: ukuphuculwa kobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu, ukunciphisa ingxabano kunye noxinzelelo, ukwandisa ukuzithemba, ukuququzelela ukuxazulula iingxaki, kunye nokuphucula unxibelelwano kwiindawo zokusebenza. Ukuba ufuna ukufunda konke malunga nayo, nalu ukhetho lwethu lwezona ncwadi zibalaseleyo ngonxibelelwano oluqinisekisayo.

Iincwadi ezigqwesileyo kunxibelelwano oluqinisekisayo

Ukuqina: Ukubonakalisa ukuzithemba okusempilweni (1996), ngu-Olga Castayer

Kubonakala ngathi ingcamango ye unxibelelwano oluqinisekileyo Yayiyimveliso ephuma ngaphandle, kwaye iingcali zengqondo zayisebenzisa kuyo yonke into nakuyo yonke imeko. Nangona kunjalo, ingqiqo yendlela engcono yokuthetha nabanye, kunye nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zethu ngaphandle kokulimaza iqabane okanye abahlobo bethu, ibidlala ngengqondo epinki kunye neencwadi zokuzinceda iminyaka emininzi.

Yiloo nto u-Olga Castaner esiza ukubonisa ngayo lo mqulu. Kuyo, Umbhali uthi Xa sizithanda kwaye sizihlonipha, kulula kakhulu ukwenza okufanayo nabanye abantu, kuba Ukuzithemba yintsika isisiseko esivumela ukuba siqiniseke ngexabiso lethu elikhethekileyo, isinceda ukuba simisele amalungelo ethu ngaphandle kokunyathela abanye.

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Iingcaphuno zika-Olga Castayer

«Uluhlu lwamaLungelo aQinisekisayo: Ilungelo lokuphathwa ngentlonipho nesidima; ilungelo lokuba kunye nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo kunye nezimvo zakhe; ilungelo lokumanyelwa nokuthathelwa ingqalelo; ilungelo lokugweba iimfuno zam, ukubeka izinto eziphambili kum kwaye ndizenzele izigqibo; ilungelo lokuthi “HAYI” ngaphandle kokuziva unetyala; ilungelo lokubuza into endiyifunayo, ndiqonda ukuba umntu othetha naye unelungelo lokuthi “HAYI”…».
«Uluhlu lukaEllis lweengcamango ezingenangqondo: kuyimfuneko ukuba umntu athandwe kwaye amkelwe ngumntu wonke; Umntu kufuneka abe nobuchule kakhulu kwaye azi indlela yokusombulula yonke into ukuba ufuna ukuqwalaselwa njengemfuneko kwaye eluncedo; Kukho abantu abakhohlakeleyo, abadelekileyo, abamelwe kukufumana oko kubafaneleyo; Kuyoyikeka xa izinto zingahambi ngendlela obungathanda ngayo; Ishwangusha lomntu libangelwa zizizathu zangaphandle kwaye abantu abanalo okanye lincinci ithuba lokulawula izinto ezicaphukisayo kunye nokuphazamiseka…».

Ukuzithemba: kubantu abangaqhelekanga (2013), ngu-Eva Bach no-Anna Forés

Kule ncwadi, ababhali babuza umbuzo othi, ngelixa ubonakala ungumntwana, unokubangela incoko enomdla: "Uhamba njani ebomini?" "Ngokuqinisekileyo okanye njengenkunzi yenkomo kwivenkile yaseTshayina?" Ukuzithemba kunemvano-siphelo kunye nolonwabo, kwaye oku akuqhelekanga. Esi sisixhobo esimangalisayo sokwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo, obunobudlelwane nabanye. Yiyo loo nto umdla ewuvusayo.

Unxibelelwano oluqinisekileyo luvumela ukuba sithethe nabanye sisebenzisa ulwimi olunovelwano olufuna ukusombulula iingxabano. Ngaloo ndlela, Enye yeendlela ezicetywayo kakhulu kukungaphikisana namanqanaba aphezulu eemvakalelo, kodwa kunokuba sifumane amaxesha oxolo kunye nokuzola ukuze sixoxe ngeemvakalelo zethu kunye neendlela ezifanelekileyo zokujongana nengxaki, nokuba kunye neqabane lethu, abahlobo, okanye emsebenzini.

Amabinzana nguEva Bach

Yiba nomfanekiso wengqayi yeglasi yamanzi, ekhazimlayo ezantsi. Uyayishukumisa kwaye i-glitter isasazeka kuyo yonke ingqayi. Xa iimvakalelo zikhululiwe zize zisongamele, kwenzeka into efanayo kanye; zityhutyha yonke imiphefumlo yethu njengokubengezela.
«Ukufumana ukuzola akusoloko kuyinjongo yokugqibela yamava angokweemvakalelo. Ukuzola akupheli, kodwa ngokufuthi kuqalisa oko kubalulekile. Ukuzola kufuneka kuvule indawo yangaphakathi yemvakalelo esivumela ukuba siyiqonde kwaye thina ngokwethu ngcono.

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Unokuthi "hayi": funda ukuzinza kwaye uthethe oko ucingayo (2017), nguCarmen Pastor kunye noJuan Sevilla

Enye yeengxaki ezinkulu kuluntu lwethu namhlanje kukuba abantu abayazi indlela yokuthetha oko bakucingayo., yaye oku phantse kusoloko kusenzeka ngenxa yoloyiko esinalo lokwenzakalisa abanye. Nangona kunjalo, into ephela yenzeka kukuba sithwala umthwalo ongenakucingelwa de, ngobusuku, siphele siqhuma kumntu ongafanelekanga. Yiyo loo nto unxibelelwano oluqinisekisayo kufuneka lusetyenziswe.

Ukuziphatha ngokuzithemba kuxa sivakalisa into esiyicingayo, sivakalelwa yaye sifuna ngendlela engqalileyo nenyanisekileyo, kodwa ngokucacileyo nangobubele. Ukumisela imida akukho malunga nokubaphatha kakubi abangeneleli bethu okanye ukubonisa amandla kunye namandla ngamazwi, kodwa kukubeka etafileni iimfuno zengqwalasela, indawo, uthando, kunye nentlonipho sonke esiyifaneleyo.

Ucatshulwa nguCarmen Pastor

"Apho kukho iyantlukwano, imfundo ayinakuba ngumgca othe ngqo ekufuneka wonke umntu ewulandele."
"Njengabafundisi, kufuneka sinikeze abafundi ngamathuba ahlukeneyo okuthatha inxaxheba kunye nokuzivakalisa, beqonda ukuba umntu ngamnye unokuba neendlela ezahlukeneyo zokufunda kunye nokunxibelelana ngolwazi lwabo."

Ilungelo lokuthi hayi: indlela yokufumana ukuzithemba ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ukuzithethelela (2009), nguWalter Riso

Oku bekungayi kuba luluhlu olulungileyo lweencwadi zonxibelelwano eziqinisekisayo ukuba azikhankanywanga uWalter Riso, omnye wezona ngcali zengqondo zibalaseleyo nezifundwa ngokubanzi kwiminyaka yakutshanje. Kwincwadi yakhe, Umbhali uchaza ukuba kutheni sisoyika ukwala izicelo ezithileKutheni sityekele ekuthobeleni iminqweno yabanye? Ngaba mhlawumbi sicinga ukuba imida yethu ayibalulekanga kangako kunokwanelisa abanye?

Ilungelo lokuthi hayi ihlalutya ingcamango yokuqinisekisa, kunye neenzuzo zayo, imida yayo, kwaye, ngokubanzi, izizathu zokuba kutheni sisoyika ukuthi hayi. Ukwengeza, Umbhali ujongana nezinto ezifana nobutyala obulindelweyo kunye noloyiko lokwenzakalisa abanye. URiso ujongana nalo lonke olu lwazi ngolwimi olulula, ukuze wonke umntu awuqonde lo mba wengqondo.

UWalter Riso ucaphula

"Xa uthando lunkqonkqoza emnyango, luya kungena njengesaqhwithi: awuyi kukwazi ukuvala okubi kwaye ufumane okulungileyo kuphela. Ukuba ucinga ukuba uthando lulingana nolonwabo, wehla ngendlela engafanelekanga.
«Ukuthembeka kwiqabane lakho akukhona ukungabikho komnqweno wabanye. Xa ubona umntu omthandayo, ngumbandela wokuzibamba kunye nokuphepha ngexesha elifanelekileyo. Ndincoma ukuba ungadlali ngomlilo okanye usebenze njenge-idiot, kuba unokutsha.
"Ukuzithanda, ngelixa ubajongela phantsi okanye ungabahoyi abanye, kukuzicingela nokungakhethi; Ukuthanda abanye ngoxa uzijongela phantsi kukungazithandi.

Ubukrelekrele obuqinisekileyo (2015), nguJaviera De la Plaza

Lo mbhalo we-psychologist waseChile uJaviera de la Plaza unikezelwa njengesikhokelo sokuphucula unxibelelwano phakathi kwabantu, konke ngokuphuhliswa kokuqina, ingcamango yoguquko eye yanceda izigidi zabantu zakha ubudlelwane obuhloniphekileyo nobunempilo. Lo mqulu ugubungela indlela yokoyisa ukuphoxeka okubangelwa kukungakwazi ukuchaza oko sikucingayo nesivakalelwa kukuba., enoba kungenxa yokuba neentloni, uloyiko okanye ukungazithembi.

Ngokufanayo, umbhali ucebisa izixhobo zokufumanisa indlela yokuphepha ukuphendula ngokungxama okunokonakalisa ubudlelwane bethu. Ikwaphonononga iikhonsepthi eziphambili ezinje ngokungenzi nto, ubundlongondlongo, kunye nonxibelelwano oluqinisekisayo, ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo, kunye nokuzithemba. Ngaphandle koko, uceba izicwangciso zokuvakalisa izimvo zethu ngendlela ecacileyo nehloniphekileyo, funda ukuthi “hayi” ngaphandle kokuziva unetyala, phulaphula ngenyameko uze usebenzise izimbo zomzimba ezifanelekileyo.

Ucatshulwa nguJaviera De la Plaza

«Ukufikelela kwizivumelwano kungaphezulu kunokusombulula ingxabano; "Bubugcisa bokwakha iibhulorho ngokusebenzisa iingxoxo kunye novelwano."
"Ngamanye amaxesha sitshitshiswa kukulindela okungahambelani nobuntu bethu bangaphakathi."
"Ukuzinyamekela linyathelo lokuqala lokukwazi ukunyamekela abanye."

Ndifuna ukufunda ukuzithanda ngokuzimisela (2018), ngu-Olga Castayer Mayer Spiess

Ukuzithemba kunye nokuzithemba zizinto ezimbini ezisondeleleneyo., yaye enye ibingenakubakho ngaphandle komnye, kuba sinokuyifumana njani intlonelo ukuba asizihloneli thina kuqala? Yaye thina siyifuna njani imbeko kwabanye? Ukuba sifuna ukuqalisa indlela eya kwinto wonke umntu ayinqwenelayo, kufuneka sithathele ingqalelo le miba: uthando nentlonipho.

Ukuzithemba kusinika intlonipho, uthando kunye nokuzithemba. Kwiimeko ezininzi, asifuni kuziva singaphezulu okanye siphantsi kwakhe nabani na; sisuka nje sifune ukuba siziqu zethu, sinokuzimela geqe ngokweemvakalelo kunye nentembelo yokuba siyayinyamekela kwaye siyayikhusela kwimekobume, ngakumbi xa inondlongondlongo.

Ezinye iincwadi ezingonxibelelwano oluqinisekisayo

· Ulwimi lomzimba, unxibelelwano olucengayo, kunye nentethetho: funda ukuthetha esidlangalaleni okusebenzayo, ukuzithemba, uvelwano, uthethathethwano, i-NLP, kunye nendlela yokuhlalutya abantu ngokubafunda njengencwadi. (2023), nguMateo Nevarez;

Unxibelelwano oluqinisekileyo: imfihlelo yokuthetha ngaphandle kwembudane, ukuthi HAYI ngesimbo, kunye nokwenza amagama akho abalwe. Yiba sisithethi… Ukuzithemba! (2013), ngu-Ollie Snider;
Zobulumko (1996), nguDaniel Goleman.

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